And it's harder to find ones that say what I want too. But I enjoy getting them and sending them too, when I can find ones I like. I do not keep mine though. I keep too much other stuff! Having lost my mother when I was young and my dad just a few years ago, I've seen the impact of all expressions of condolence - and of the failure to acknowledge the event as well.
When my father died I received many cards but found that opening them was painful - it seemed to make his death real in some way. However, just seeing them arrive and seeing that expression of support and love was very consoling. As the weeks went by, I opened a few at a time and read them with deep appreciation and found ongoing comfort in them. I always write, even if it is delayed.
And I write again, maybe to the family on the anniversary of the death, or on a wedding anniversary or birthday, even just to let someone know they are being thought of. Finding the right words is sometimes challenging but well worthwhile and the time involved is far less than most people spend in a single day on social media once you sit down and do it.
But then, I'm old fashioned; I still send written thank you notes and birthday cards. We have to do our bit to keep the USPS in business, right? Julia, I know what you mean about opening those cards being painful. Having others acknowledge the death does make it more real. At the same time, reading them can be so comforting, especially when a few extra moments were taken to write something personal.
That is so kind of you to write and then write again. I'm sure your written notes are treasures for those receiving them. And yes, we gotta keep the USPS going!
Great to hear from you. Thank you for taking time to comment. Hope you're safe and well. Amazing that something you wrote in can still be found and is relevant today in ! Having lost my mother in I can say that I did draw comfort from the sympathy cards that were sent. My beloved brother-in-law died recently and I found peace in your posting of the prayer, so much so that I looked it up. Here's the original version. We Remember Them At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them. At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them. You may choose a sympathy card with an appropriate message or image if you know the religious preference of the addressee. For example, if you are sending a sympathy card to your friend who is Jewish, it would be inappropriate to choose a card that has the image of a cross on it.
If your friend has no religious preference, you can select a card that has no mention of heaven or the afterlife. Remember, choose the card based on who will receive it. Adding your return address to the envelope will enable the postal system to return the item to you if the letter is undeliverable. Also, the family member in charge of writing thank yous will appreciate not having to do considerable research to find your address.
Usually, thank you notes are written for those who send donations, flowers, or food. Make sure the addressees know it was Sue Jones who sent the card and not Sue Smith. This is especially important if you send the card through the funeral home. When you lose someone you love, you want to hear kind stories about the person. If possible then you will want to send a card or note as quickly as possible. But you may not hear of the passing until a later date, and that could be months after it has happened.
If that is the case then it is still a good idea to send a some form of card or message to let the person know you are thinking of them. Later is better than never. Even if you learned the news of the deceased on social media it is still not a good idea to send your condolences that way, especially if you knew the person well. Remember though — the first thing you should do is send some form of sympathy card. Yes, but you must make sure your gesture is then backed up. Do not offer something you cannot deliver on.
For example, if you offered to babysit for them or help with the funeral arrangements, you have to follow through on that. Get in contact after your offer of support and repeat it, maybe even in person, so that they can take you up on your offer without feeling guilty about having to ask. So think about whether you can genuinely help before promising to do so. You must not offer to help and then just disappear.
An empty gesture is much worse then no offer of help. This will have to be based entirely on your own judgement.
Only you know the person you are sending the card to, and whether something religious will be appropriate or offensive to them. Using religious quotes or verses when you know them to be an atheist, for example, would not be a good idea. The last thing you would want to do in their time of grief is start pushing your own religious belief onto them.
Skip to content Home Helpful tips Do family members send sympathy cards to each other? Helpful tips. Ben Davis January 24, Do family members send sympathy cards to each other? Who do you send bereavement cards to? Do you send a sympathy card to immediate family members? How long after someone dies can you send a sympathy card?
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